How To Make Friends And Influence People
Hey this is Gerald Rogers. Welcome to Hero TV. In today’s episode we’re going to be talking about how to make friends and how to influence people. So what is one of the most important human needs? Obviously we’ve got the basics. We got food, we got water, we got rest. But one of the most important psychological needs is we all want to be loved. Yeah we all want to be loved like this is one of the most important things is to feel human connection, feel human interaction, to feel loved and adored and appreciated by those we know. To have meaningful friendships and intimate connections. In this video I’m going to be talking about how to make friends and how to influence people. And in your life I want to think about your existing sphere of influence, Your existing friendships. Would you like to expand that? would you like to have more influence to grow your business, to influence people for good. Would you like to have deeper and more meaningful friendships and connections? would you like to have more intimacy within your closest relationships? If so, pay attention because I’m going to be sharing with you some very valuable and useful insights on how to grow your influence and how to develop greater levels of connection love and intimacy in your life. So with that we’re going to break down this model which is something I teach in my awakened breakthrough seminar which is the seven levels of intimacy and endpoints. So the seven levels of intimate intimacy and influence represents all of the different levels of interactions we have in our lives. And each of these levels represents not only the depth of those relationships but also the influence that we have within those relationships. First of all understand that there are seven and a half billion people in this world. That’s a lot of people. That’s a lot of people and if you ever travel to countries like China and India and you’re in these cities that have you know, 10, 20 million people you’re really overwhelmed by how many people there are. But the reality is, there’s a lot of people you’ll never meet and the people you’ve never met before are strangers. Obviously the further outside that circle you have, the less and less influence. You have a very little influence, very little connection, very little appreciation for people or strangers. On the next level however is the moment someone bridges the gap from being on your outer world to someone you actually connect with they go from being strangers to acquaintances. New acquaintance is someone that you may have met, you have an awareness of. You may not know them very well. You don’t know their story, you don’t know much about them. You haven’t built a lot of relationship with them but they become in your, in your field your awareness. The next level, after acquaintance is the moment you start engaging with them, the moment when you start having a relationship with them they become friends. Now, friends as you look at your life, what represents a friend? a friend is someone that you probably you know their name, you know who they are, you, you have a connection that has been built because you’ve shared some experiences together and these friends become important to you. They become valued relationships in your life. They can become people that you want to spend time with.
People that you really appreciate. from friends, the next level after friendship is your inner circle. Your inner circle, Represents your close group of friends that you spend the most time with. The people that you hang out with, the people that you play with and it could be people that you work with, that you travel with, that you hang out with in different ways but inner circle are people that you you spend a lot of time with in your lives begin to be intertwined in a very connected way. The next level of intimacy and influence from inner circle is when people step into being your Lifelines. Now a lifeline is someone who has got your back. They are there for you when you need them and they’re the type of person that you can call up at two o’clock in the morning and they would drop everything to be there for you. There are the people that really, you build this lifelong friendship with that you can’t imagine your life without. The next level from there, your soulmate. This is someone who you intertwine with and in so many ways in your life you become one. You share so many aspects of your your life that they, they claim a spot in your life that no one else can have. Having a soulmate is, is a beautiful beautiful experience. Now the final aspect of a relationship at that very very heart of everything as we talk about intimacy and influence. A very final circle is you. This is you in your relationship with yourself. Now as you look at this this diagram and you look at all of the different levels of the relationship, it begins with this awareness as all of your relationships to begin with you. If you want to create better friends, if you want to create more influence in your life, you begin with you. You begin nurturing and developing and enhancing that relationship with yourself. The more you fall in love with you, the more you nurture that relationship with you the easier all of these other relationships come. But the moment you start to start neglecting yourself, the moment you feel yourself being depleted, the moment you notice that you’re experiencing resentment or anger or frustration with yourself. The moment you stop nurturing this relationship with you and there’s no self-love then all of these become blocked. Because if your relationship with you isn’t good how on earth are gonna have a meaningful relationship with the soulmate? how on earth are you gonna be able to show up for lifelines if you’re not even showing up for yourself? And this is really important to understand because so many people in their life they can’t understand why the relationships aren’t working. The relationships are built on expectations and they’re frustrated with their spouse and they’re feeling disconnected they feel like they don’t have friends and what they don’t realize that all the relationships in life are reflection. They’re a mirror of the relationship that we have with ourselves. So it begins by nurturing the relationship with you. Falling in love with you first and then from that, when you actually step into a relationship with a soulmate a life partner, when you step into these friendships where you have lifelines and these deep meaningful people in your inner circle it doesn’t come from a codependent space. It doesn’t come from a, an interaction that says, hey I need you to fill up this hole inside of me that I need to be loved. I need you to show up this way so I can feel like I’m important.
It’s not based on that. All relationships that are based on needing, having a need filled within yourself that’s what co-dependent relationships are. And it’s very very difficult to have the intimacy and influence you want in your life of if you’re building codependent relationship. The moment you take care of yourself first then all of a sudden you have space to give to these relationships. And what we’re going to do right now is, we’re gonna break down how do you actually move someone deeper and deeper into the spaces of intimacy and influence. How do you take these, these people to meet and make them friends? how do you bring them into your inner circle? how do you build deeper levels of trust? because trust equals influence. Alright so the next step is we’re gonna be talking about the four steps to bring people into greater space of influence and intimacy in your life. How to bring them closer into that center circle. So as we talk about bringing people in, so much of it is making a choice to drop the barriers into open our heart to actually allow people to feel our love into for us to be able to fill theirs. So I just want you to imagine right now that you are lowering all of your barriers, you’re connecting and you’re allowing yourself to see and to be seen.
This is the process of stepping into a relationship and into greater levels of influence and intimacy. So the first step to bring people into greater levels of intimacy and influence is intention. To choose that what you want to create. Now as I say this, I want you to get clear who are the people you want to have greater connection and relationship with? and this relates to anything. Maybe there’s a specific woman you you see at at a restaurant and you know you want to meet her. It begins with the intention says, wow I want to get to know that person. Maybe there’s a friend that you’ve been kind of casual. You’ve had a little bit distant relationship but you are really inspired by them and you want to hang out with them, then it’s that intention says I want that person to be one of my friends. Maybe it’s someone that’s really close in your life. Even your soul mate or your life partner, your spouse and your relationship isn’t quite what you want it to be. You’re not experiencing the intimacy and connection that you want it begins with the intention says, I choose this I want to have more intimate and passion meaningful relationship. The intimate, the intention is first you have to make that choice. Who do you want to have a closer relationship? and to remember that like attracts like. If you want to have a deeper relationship then you need to work on you first. You need to be the type of person you want to attract into your life. And this relates to self love and being in that space of being a giver rather than a taker. The second part of this is to Engage. I know that’s spelled wrong but that’s the framework that we have. It has to be “I”. So anyways engage what does this mean? You take action, you do something about that intention. If it’s just like, oh wow that would be so nice if this person was friends with me and you don’t do anything about it it’s not going to change. But the moment you have that intention, the moment you do something about it then new possibilities are there. Seeing that woman in the restaurant and walking after and say, hey my name is Gerald it’s so nice to meet you. What’s your name? Right? That’s the step of engagement. If it’s a friend that you want to have as a deeper relationship say reaching out and say, hey would you be free to go out for lunch I would love to spend some time with you. If it’s your spouse and engaging in a space where you’re giving in the relationship and say, I would love to have a deeper relationship with you. In showing up to give love without any expectation. The third step, the moment that interaction takes place is to make sure that your relationship is one that you inspire. To make a goal, make a commitment that every interaction you have with that person leaves them feeling better about themselves. I want you to think about the people you want to hang out with. I’m sure the people you want to hang out with are people that make you feel good, and make you feel happy, make you feel good about who you are.
So be that type of person. Remember, like attracts like. If you want to have people in your life that make you feel good then be that type of person that gives and inspires others. And that inspiration could be a nice compliment. Maybe it’s reaching out and sending a text or sending a message on Facebook and saying, hey I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you. I’m so grateful for a friendship I really admire how you and just sharing some kind words of appreciation. Notice that when you do this it starts to build a deeper connection, a deeper love because you’re making deposits in their love account without any expectation. You’re not doing this in order to get something from them you’re doing it just because you want to inspire them. And the final step of influence is to invite. And that invitation depends on what your, what your goal is in terms of influencing. Maybe if it’s a friendship and they’re struggling with something and you can see that they need to make it change when you make these deposits when you come to this point of inviting it can be an invitation that they’ll make a change. Maybe it’s a more casual invitation for them to spend more time or to create more memories with you or to do something special to build that relationship even more. From a business standpoint, when you go through this process of intentionally engaging with your audience of serving them of building our relationship of inspiring them and giving first then the invitation is really simple it says, hey I’ve got something that I think that will help you. And recognizing and remembering that influence is all about helping them get what they want rather than manipulation where you’re trying to get what you want. This invitation is always something that will build the relationship even deeper. And so here are some basic steps as you’re looking to make more friends and influence more people. Just to recap, number one first and foremost focus on you. Build the relationship with you first. Fill yourself with self-love and then from that space when you’re engaging and you’re interacting with other people, it always will come from a space of abundance rather than codependency. And in that journey as you share yourself more fully with the world as you are a more open and more free and more confident more and more people will be drawn and attracted to you and you’ll notice it, you become more and more influential to the people that are drawn into your life. Hopefully this serves you as you go out there and live your magical amazing incredible life. This is Gerald Rogers reminding you you’ve got one life to live live big.
Thanks for watching hero TV today and I really appreciate Gerald sharing this content with us. Be sure to subscribe so you can watch videos like this every single day. Got a lot of helpful resources down in the description below and as always, live on purpose, make a difference,and be the hero.