How To Not Care What Others Think Of You
How do you not care what others think of you? I mean it’s something that, that I’ve struggled with my entire life. I’ve gained a little bit but it’s something I’m still learning. I’m excited to have Chad Hymas share with us his wisdom on this. Good afternoon Chad Hymas here wanting to talk to you this week on how to not care what other people think about you. How to not. N-O-T, not care about what other people think about you. Now I think there’s a fine line. I think sometimes it’s important that, that what people think about us does have some it does have some credibility because perception is everything. So if people are saying things about us because it’s perceived and maybe their perceptions have some credibility, then you and I need to take a look at that see we can’t change something. So here’s just a piece of advice regarding this piece of it. If you don’t like what other people are saying about you and you want to change it, instead of ridiculing them or judging them or throwing them under the bus with a return blast on Instagram or return blast or negative comment on Facebook or social media which people do left and right. Those people are a dime a dozen. Grab a mirror and look at yourself first and see if there’s something you can’t do differently in order to avoid a different perception. So if I don’t like what people are saying about me and I want to change that perception because maybe I did something wrong then I should try and face it head-on, take responsibility and accountability for that and try and be a better person because of that. Now let’s go to the flip side of this. How to not care what people think about you. So let me take you back to just a few years ago probably seven so a little more than a few. My wife wanted me to go out to dinner with her for the first time since I had been the wheel chair and I had refused to go out in public. So probably long on seven years ago. I had refused to go out in public in my wheelchair because I cared about what other people’s perceptions might be of me be in a wheelchair. For starters, I didn’t want to have people see me drip food on myself. I didn’t want to have them to make mistakes trying to cut up food with a knife or drop my fork on floor or spill water on my lip which was common for me back then. I didn’t want people to stare at me in a wheelchair. Ever had that feeling before? I didn’t want people to look at my fault and my weaknesses instead of who I felt like that really was. And so for those reasons, I chose to stay pretty much well an introvert of lifestyle and chose to stay indoors. And my wife, she wanted me to go out special occasion. She want me to go out and go out take her to her favorite restaurant which is called the Red Lobster. So Red Lobster is where she likes to eat. By the way gentlemen, and just as a side note, when you find a lady whose favorite restaurant is the Red Lobster you probably should marry her for a lifetime and eternity because that’s called low-maintenance. That’s not part of today’s topic but just more of advice. Red Lobster cheap not very expensive marry her for eternity a lot higher maintance women that are out there. With that said, Shondell convinced me to go to Red Lobster and something happened that night. I went reluctantly I was not happy, did not have a positive attitude. I remember sitting in the lobby and Shondell holding that little, they give you a little a little soundbites a little box with a red light that flashes when you’re, when your table is ready and vibrates. I remember, I remember just just watching Shondells hand praying that that thing would not light up and sure enough it lit up which meant our table is ready now we go into the open the open area where people are eating their food and joining to this company and I did not want to be at that Red Lobster restaurant. So I wheel my chair in and I follow my wife and I guarantee you people are watching me and I and I go wheel up to the table and my countenance isn’t very good and I’ll never forget what happened. They begin to bring us out our waters and I’m thinking, you know that’s a glass bottle I dropped glass I’d rather have plastic but Shondell asked for a straw for me so I sipped some water and I wasn’t, I wasn’t really creating conversation. It was kind of quiet and I looked across I looked across the restaurant. And lo and behold, I saw, now the restaurant was full but my eye caught another couple. And it caught, it caught another couple. Because she was in a wheelchair and she was laughing with whoever was across the table and I’m assuming was her date. I’m going to assume that. I don’t know if she was married or not they were an older couple. I don’t know if they had kids. I just know it was a lady in a wheelchair similar to my circumstance. The only difference was, she was female and she was laughing, I was male and I was not. There’s the difference. And so I watched him as the waiter brought out our appetizer and the steak and lobster and shrimp fest and all that stuff. I kept looking over at her like this and I talked to my wife and trying make things good but then I kind of look over and see what she was doing and she was laughing and she was, her hands were curled like mine and she would try and cut up or her stick and she’d flip some shrimp on the floor and she laughs about it and he would throw his napkin on the floor and he didn’t, it was just, it was funny to look at and they were they were having a good time. Whereas me, I was tense. I was so tense that I was paralyzed. I mean that’s how tense I was, I thought I was paralyzed if I was and I was really trapped and and you could tell that she had no care in the world about what other people were thinking about her circumstance. And after looking at her and watching her, I decided that night to laugh with Shondelle and have a good time. I can’t give you her name because I didn’t grow up in banker. I don’t even know who she was although her her face will forever exist in my memory. Forever. One day I’ll see her again. I know I will. And I’ll go up to and I’ll thank her for the impact she had on my life even though she doesn’t know she had an impact on my life. It changed my life forever and made me think the power of not worrying about what other people think about you and how it can affect other people. The same holds true for you watching this video. Yes there is some credibility in worrying about other people’s perceptions but if their perceptions are false perceptions based on good intentions and good choices that you try to make, then you should not care. It’s amazing what good you and I can accomplish in our life when we don’t care what other people think about our good intentions and we don’t care what other people think about our good acts. We can accomplish a lot and let other people take the credit for that. I want to end this segment with just a quick little scenario on where I would be in my life or where I would not be if I were to worry about what other people think. I can tell you that if I were to think and worry about what other people think about my circumstance, I mean even in a hospital, as good as the intentions were the doctors. I mean they told me what to expect. I should expect to live in a wheelchair.
Statistically, most people like me don’t don’t live a normal life span. They don’t live. In fact, I can tell you for a fact that I’ve lost three friends. Three. You count on, they are all younger than me, they’re in my circumstance because of infections I go,t Owen septic, a pressure sore or because of personal health issues or I’ve lost one friend due to an allergic reaction to medication. Paralyzes lungs, they went to sleep, did not wake up. So, for those reasons and despite what everybody else thinks, I’ve waned myself off of all medications and I wear long johns, three layers. 365 days a year. So I have on right now. You can see in the middle of summer I have on not just this heavy jacket but I have two layers on underneath. Same with the pants. Slacks and two layers on it. Not because I’m cold, I got on three layers and I got on wool socks not for cold not for blood circulation. I don’t want to get a red mark on my body. If I were to care and worry about what the doctor said about my lifespan and the way that I would have to live my life I can tell you that I would not be doing this video right now. I would not have as many friends as I have. I would not have traveled the seven continents and thirteen years and 52 countries. I’m not saying that to brag. I am a little bit but not in an egotistical way or an arrogant way. I just never met another quadriplegic that travels the world alone. I do travel extensively to share a message with the world that’s very personal nature because of what I choose to believe about myself and not what other people think about myself. I dictate my results. I dictate my answers. I dictate the good and the bad that happens to me. Same with you. So if I listen to other people think about me and I dictate my actions because of them, I promise you I’m taking myself off this video I’m not going to go public, I’m gonna stay locked up in my bedroom and I’m gonna watch Judge Judy the rest of my life. Why Judge Judy? because she’s addictive that’s why and I’ll watch her forever and ever. And I’ll watch ESPN. It’s only been since I’ve been willing to not necessarily care what everybody else thinks about the way that I should live my life, what kind of catheters I should use, how often I should use the restroom, how I should get around, mobility. When I dictate what’s best for me and when I find several right answers to solve solutions and separate difference in these video add video video programs that you’ve watched on be the hero. You’ll find that on the, be the hero Channel done by Nate Woodburry. When you watch this, and you watch our video segments on this channel please listen carefully to these principles. These true life principles that will help you turn an ordinary life and to an extraordinary life. And if you want to live that kind of a lifestyle, it’s not me it’s the principle that I have been taught that I’ve tried to apply that I’ve allowed me to turn an ordinary body that’s 95 percent numb, into an extraordinary lifestyle. This is Chad Hymas closing out, asking you to believe in yourself and not necessarily listen to what other people think about you if it’s negative and then you dictate those results. For now this is Chad Hymas closing out this segment. Thanks for watching this episode of Hero TV. Thanks so much Chad for being here and sharing your wisdom on this topic. I learned a lot. So I really appreciate that. We’ve got a lot of information down in the description below so check that out. Be sure to subscribe. Remember to live on purpose, make a difference, be the hero.