How To Influence People And Make Friends

Welcome to Hero TV today. Today with Chad Hymas, we’re going to be talking about how to influence people and make friends. How to influence people and make friends. Chad Hymas here to talk to you about influencing other people and making friends. One of those topics that I think that we all seek, we want to have friends. But let me first off, I tell you the friends isn’t measured by how many people like your Facebook page, it’s not about how many people that you have following you on Twitter, it’s not about how many likes you get on your Instagram post, you don’t count friends that way. You find out who your friends really are in your darkest moments. And just because somebody doesn’t like a certain. certain phrase you post or like a picture or something you put on social media. doesn’t mean that they’re not paying attention to you in your life so please don’t measure friendship by whether people like or comment or what they do on social media. One of the worst ways to gain friendships and to have influence and to find friends. I think the best thing that you can do to find friends, one of the ways it’s been more successful for me in developing friendships is the first and foremost, get myself out of my normal friend base. In other words, my likes and the hobbies that I have surround the outdoors, they surround flying and traveling, they surround speakers. I love to network with other speakers. I’m a sports fanatic so I have friends that like to go to jazz basketball games here in Utah Salt Lake City and in football games. But in order for me to have more friends, I need to find out what other people like and join that friend group as well. So in other words, broadening my likes, what my hobbies are, what other people’s hobbies and likes are as well. It also helps me to make more friends. To broaden my fan base. So let me give you an example. If my desire is to make friends, I need to focus on what their needs, what their fears, what their victories are and maybe celebrate them. Otherwise, I can focus on my own set of challenges. I saw a YouTube video on Facebook. You guys got to search this and check this out. Kid being bullied in high school because of his weight. So we have a kid that people don’t like because he’s different, he’s quiet, and they don’t like him. And this kid he just wants a friend. He just wants to make a friend. But because of that, he goes home and he tells mom and dad that people are bullying him and that he has no friends. And normal parents would probably call up most parents probably, would call up the principal, they’d call the superintendent of schools, they call the teacher, and they would get mad at superintendents, teachers of school for allowing this kind of behavior to happen where a kids getting bullied. That would be a normal reaction from a parent. What these folks do is absolutely unheard of. They, and it, it works wonders they tell their child who’s being made fun of and being bullied to step out of his element and go make friends with whomever he can by serving them. So when it shows him the video is this, it shows let’s use the name Johnny let’s call Johnny he’s in high school. It shows this kid who is being made fun of because he’s different. And he dresses differently and he, kids think that he’s overweight and he gets made fun of that way. They show him at the high school .This is live genuine footage. They show him where he is opening up the door and he is greeting people as they enter the the high school doors and he just say hi. hi! hi! and this kid is one of those guys to make it fun up and he just he’s just genuinely trying to be nice by holding, by holding the door open and this is an idea that his father gave him. Why don’t you go back to that high school and instead of allowing people to bully you, you don’t have to punch him back, you don’t have to swear back at him, you don’t to mention their weaknesses, you don’t have to talk, to make fun of them, just go do something nice. And so this kid goes and he gets out of his element, which is kind of like me going to another friend base it’s out of an element and he opens up the door and these high school kids walk through and about a month later, you see him having lunch with the Chess Club. Tt shows us in a time-lapse video. You see him at the basketball game standing right in the middle of all the kids the right in the middle of a group at a basketball game, cheering for the team. You see him giving fist bumps to the cheerleaders, you see him hanging out with the kids that are on skateboards, you see him involved with different groups with different ethnicities, different colors of skin whereas just a month and a half earlier, people were making fun of him. He had no friends. He was a guy that was being made fun of. Look how quickly the contrast when someone owns where they’re sitting in their life. And that’s what I want, that’s the principle I want, to talk about. Accountability for influencing and making friends.

Folks, if you’re not happy with your friend base change them. If you’re friends you’re hanging out with, don’t, don’t really live up to the values that you live up to are the ones that you would like lit up to, change them. I’m not saying it’s easy If they’re easy, everybody be doing it. Sometimes you have to make that hard decision to change friends and change friends quickly. Be willing to step out of that comfort zone. Be willing to step up, comfort zone is a cliche phrase. Let’s not use that. Think outside the box. Oops. I just did it again. Thinking outside the box is a cliche phrase. I don’t like that one. Let’s use a different phrase. Here’s, here it is, throw the box out the window. Just throw it out the window entirely. Do something completely different. That’s what this mom and dad did with his boy. They threw the box outside the window, this kid goes to the school, opens up a door and without being repetitive, within a 40-day, 45-day time frame ,in this time lapse this kid now has friends left and right because he took accountability. My friends this is Chad Hymas telling you, that only when you hold yourself accountable for every place where you’re at in your life, for the mistakes you’ve made, for your successes, for the challenges you faced, and the victories you’ve experienced, when you, only when you take ownership for every where you’re at including the paralysis. The experience your life and I’ve had to own up to that for me. Only then will you have the ability to influence other people and to make friendships that you never thought that you would have. Remember, leadership is influence. It’s not a title, it’s not student body president. That’s not being a parent. In other words just because I’m given the name of father doesn’t make me a good one. Just because I’m called a husband doesn’t make me a good one. It’s demonstrated by behavior. In order for you to influence and make friends you have to have a genuine behavior that cares about other people’s needs, their fears, and their victories. Perhaps more than your own. It’s selflessness. It’s telling somebody, hey welcome to school and open up the door for them. It’s telling somebody that they look nice even though they might dress differently. Here’s what it is, it’s going across the street at a high school and trying to befriend those kids that are smoking because you can’t smoke on school grounds even though you don’t smoke cigarettes yourself. It’s easier to stay back and maybe stay away from that group. I tell my kids all the time, you think you got challenges in life? you think you don’t have friends? why don’t you go to the special ed class? look at the challenges they face and see how many friends proactively seek them out or ask them to dances. In closing, I’ll just share with you something very very personal. Very personal my oldest son, decided he wanted to do something different for homecoming. So he asked a girl by the name of Lisa in a special ed department to the homecoming dance this year. His last year in school, his senior year. When he called me to tell me the news, he sent a picture of Lisa and I looked at her she was beautiful. He’s holding a red poster board there on the special ed class with some pom-poms he had given to her. On the poster board, he had written, “Lisa I’d be the happiest basketball player at this high school if you would be my head cheerleader for homecoming dance” and she said yes. How to influence people and to make friends. I want you to know that not everybody in that school thought it was cool. But some did. A few of his basketball buddies thought it was cool. Not all of them, but a few of them did. And not all the football buddies thought it was cool but eight of them did. Eight. And not all the cheerleaders thought was cool but twelve of them did. 12 of the girls thought it was cool. Look at how quickly influence and making friends. So now we have a whole busload of new kids, new friendships all going to a homecoming dance because one person decided to throw the box out the window. Listen, I’m not going to brag about my kid. Wait, yes I am. One day I want to be just like him. Because guess who’s doing it now? His younger brother. Because the older boys of in Australia for a couple years serving people. So his younger brothers now doing the same thing. So now I want to be both my kids. My two oldest boys. The other kids are younger Doug does the same thing I’m sure cause I hear the stories. They’ve already influenced me and they won me as a friend. I’m not saying you’re gonna win everybody but that never was your goal. Your goal is to influence other people and to make friendships. You’ve got to do that by throwing the box out the window. You’ve got to do that by having guts and have encouraged. You got to do that by if it’s yourself is seeking more friends genuinely, go finding people that you can compliment, and it is going to cost you a little bit of face. But in the end you’re going to make more friends than you had in the beginning. This is Chad Hymas asking each one of you to influence other people. Let your light shine so that you can have friends that are genuinely friends and true friends not just friends that like you because of worldly possessions. Thanks for watching hero TV today and thanks Chad. Appreciate all your wisdom as usual. There’s a lot of information down in the description below. And remember to live on purpose, make a difference, and be the hero